Grocery Store Blues

Usually I won’t give a back story for a poem or set of lyrics because most of the time they come out of an image or random thought. However, given the bizarre nature of this one I figure it’s worth the context. My buddy Pat and I have been working on a movie script for a year and a half, and sometimes we aren’t exactly in the best frame of mind to write properly. During one failed writing session we decided to redirect our energies into writing a song. Pat would handle the music and I would handle the lyrics. I just needed a prompt and he said, “Write about frustrations at the grocery store.” And that’s what I did. Now it’s important you read the last part as though it’s Billy Joel’s “We Didn’t Start the Fire” because I ripped that off–hard. Nonsensical lyrics after the jump. Enjoy.


Hey old lady
Why you standing there
For twenty minutes
Looking at cans of SPAM
And you in the denim jeans
Move your cart
You’re blocking the beans
Another cart hits my shin
Down each aisle a screaming kid
Why cant I find the matching Tupperware lid?
I’m gonna take a grape
And not pay
Why the watermelons on the bails of hay?
I’m pretty sure this fish is bad
Don’t just put it in a Glad bag
Been standing here
Squeezing this avocado
Maybe I’ll buy some coffee gelato

Captain Crunch
Pizza Rolls
Hot pockets
Waffle bowls
Graham crackers
Pumpkin pie
Always seem to catch my eye
Velveeta
Spinach pita
Coca Cola
DiGiorno Pizza
Boston crème
Cherry muffin
These are the foods that I’m lovin
Push pops
Frosted flakes
Whale shaped ice cream cakes
Cough syrup
For robotrippin
Jar of gravy
and fried chicken
Ranch dressing
Coleslaw
I knew I shouldn’t have bought them all

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