If you’re reading this you are an elite driver. Sadly, as a result of your superior skill set behind the wheel of an automobile you may often find yourself misunderstood when executing expert level maneuvers on the road. Commoners simply can’t comprehend what you’re doing because face it, they are terrible drivers. But don’t fret. […]Read more "The Asshole’s Guide to Driving"
For nearly everyone who attended public school there were certain lunch days that were met with a little extra enthusiasm. But there was one in particular that didn’t necessarily get the same attention as pizza or taco day. I’m talking about the cafeteria chicken sandwich, a patty of pressed chicken scraps pumped full of sodium […]Read more "The Cafeteria Chicken Sandwich"
It was 2:48 a.m. when Tim realized he probably should have went out drinking with his friends rather than stay in on a Saturday, one night after staying in on Friday. Bored and unable to reach any of his friends who were too drunk or passed out to use their phones, he grabbed a book […]Read more "Stranger Help | a short story"
When you turn off of Canal onto Bourbon St. you’re greeted by various bars, strip clubs, and assorted places to grab some good ole comfort food. However, as you move further down Bourbon, the well-lit tourist-laden area becomes darker, and after a short stretch of gay bars, Bourbon is black, the cracked sidewalks stained with […]Read more "Praying with a Crackhead on Bourbon St."
Woke Up This Mornin’ “Quite impossible to copy, weird in interval and strange in rhythm; peculiarly beautiful” – Charles Peabody on early Blues music/singingRead more "Red, White, & Blues: A Brief History of the Blues"
The truth is simple And it goes like this The truth is something that can’t exist No matter how much you persist The closest you’ll get is the gist So grab up all your possessions And set them by the curb Call up your loved ones And tell them what you heard It’s guaranteed They’ll […]Read more "The Truth is Simple"
It was about five months of not booking anything before my most recent show on Feb. 2nd with Gypsy Wig, Able Hands, and Young Legs. The show prior to Feb. 2nd (Delicate Steve, Gypsy Wig, and Dad Brother) was a memorable and fun night, which has been the case each time I’ve booked Delicate Steve […]Read more "A Commentary on the Business of Live Music"
Across the country millions of college kids are plagued by a dizzying array of questions that run through their minds on an infinite loop. What am I going to do when I get out of here? They ask themselves. How the hell am I going to make enough money to buy a house, buy food, […]Read more "The George Constanza Strategy"
A dead deer in the shoulder should always be taken as a bad omen, and a reminder of how in an instant, life can be permanently altered—especially when you fly by the carcass at 94mph en route to New York City from Vermont. Unfortunately for Cal, he was passed out drunk in the passenger seat […]Read more "LSD, New York City, and Halloween | a short story"