The Asshole’s Guide to Driving

If you’re reading this you are an elite driver. Sadly, as a result of your superior skill set behind the wheel of an automobile you may often find yourself misunderstood when executing expert level maneuvers on the road. Commoners simply can’t comprehend what you’re doing because face it, they are terrible drivers. But don’t fret. […]

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The Cafeteria Chicken Sandwich

For nearly everyone who attended public school there were certain lunch days that were met with a little extra enthusiasm. But there was one in particular that didn’t necessarily get the same attention as pizza or taco day. I’m talking about the cafeteria chicken sandwich, a patty of pressed chicken scraps pumped full of sodium […]

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The Truth is Simple

The truth is simple And it goes like this The truth is something that can’t exist No matter how much you persist The closest you’ll get is the gist So grab up all your possessions And set them by the curb Call up your loved ones And tell them what you heard It’s guaranteed They’ll […]

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