Direct TV Really Wants to Improve My Love Life

Every so often Direct TV will call and tell me how awesome of a customer I am and then try and get me to pay more money for channels I don’t want or need. They disguise it as a reward, but it’s not. This particular time the lady was incredibly persistent. I’m just going to jump to my favorite part of the conversation. This is the 5th time I said no.

“I appreciate the offer, it’s just not in the budget.”

“OK, but look at it like this, $8.99 a month really isn’t that bad to get access to thousands of movies On Demand. It’s much cheaper than going to the movies. It’s the cost of a hamburger and fries.”

“I’d rather have a hamburger.”

“Is there anyone else you share the house with?”

“Nope. Just me.”

“No girlfriend or spouse?”

“Nope. Riding solo.”

“Well, this could be a great dating opportunity. Have a lady over, kick off your shoes, mix up some margaritas.”

“I prefer more creative dates than inviting a girl over to watch Cinemax.”

“So you’re a romantic? Well what if I threw in Cinemax Romance channel at no extra cost?”

“I’m not interested and it’s not in my budget.”

“All right, I just think you’re underestimating the power of movies to bring you and a lady together.”

“I appreciate you trying to get me laid, but I don’t want Cinemax.”

“OK, well you have a nice day then and remember you can update your account anytime if you change your mind.”

“I’m still interested in the hamburger and fries.”

And she hung up.

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