These days news moves with the speed and intensity of a hurricane bearing down on some poor Caribbean U.S. territory. It’s overwhelming, and no matter how many boards you put up to maintain some barrier between you and the storm, you’re going to be left powerless and will be forced to tread water as you drag whatever belongings you can carry. But the waters will reside eventually and we’ll rebuild.
Seems like a fitting analogy for my first go at trying to make sense of the insane onslaught of breaking news we’re forced to endure on a daily basis. The Trump presidency is high drama, like a Mexican soap opera written by one of its most die-hard fans. Everyone’s fucking everyone, and there’s always one character who seems evil in the most inhumane of ways.
With the Trump administration that evil seems to flow throughout every member, as though it’s some dark cosmic chain keeping them stuck to one another, for good or ill—that is until demagogue Trump vanquishes them once he feels they’re challenging his post as the biggest liability. These past few weeks have served as a rapid build-up to the inevitable finale of this unfortunate reality show being passed off as a legitimate government. And with all reality show finales, people gotta go.
Michael Cohen: Businessman, Attorney, Store-Brand Saul Goodman
The raid of Trump’s fixer and occasional personal attorney, Michael Cohen, was easily the biggest story in the news recently, and rightfully so. After all, Cohen has become a household name once his battles with porn stars became national news. More importantly, Cohen’s incredible ability to bungle those legal matters to the point that the president and his campaign seem to be in clear violation of campaign finance law has been perhaps the most compelling part of that story—until the raid.
Sixteen cell phones and a myriad of other evidence has been seized by feds, and it appears the crime fraud exception will prevent any claims by Trump that such a thing as attorney-client privilege exists. Fortunately, we have a president so consumed and guided by ego that he’ll call in to sycophantic morning news shows and give prosecutors gifts like saying Cohen was barely his attorney, BUT did represent him in the Stormy Daniels matter.
As a result of the impending indictment(s) of Michael Cohen, the judge has delayed the Stormy Daniels case. Cohen recently pled the Fifth to avoid incriminating himself, which will be the grounds for appeal by Michael Avenatti, Stormy Daniels’ attorney.
Either way, what this ultimately means is that Michael Cohen is in serious legal jeopardy, which means so is President Trump. Between all the shady shit Cohen has hid for Trump, his taxi medallion tax fraud scheme, the money laundering, years of connections to Italian and Russian organized crime, it’s quite fitting that Trump’s adultery would be the incident that caused the whole slimy operation to be exposed.
Comey Reminds Us This is the Worst Timeline
With the publication of former FBI director, James Comey’s book, A Higher Loyalty, and the press tour in support of it, we’ve learned some new things (pee tape is likely real), but mostly we’ve just been reminded of hard and stupid truths we’ve forgotten about. For instance, Anthony Weiner’s sexting fetish and the dick pics it caused him to send to teens is essentially why Comey had to re-open the Clinton Email investigation.
What’s most interesting, and what Seth Abramson has been hammering on for awhile now, is that it seems the Clinton-relative emails (thousands of which were discovered on Weiner’s work-and-play computer) were kept hidden from Comey by New York FBI agents, who were leaking info to Rudy Giuliani, former drag queen and current attorney for President Trump in regards to the Mueller Probe.
The reason the New York agents sat on the emails was simply because they knew Comey would either have to conceal the re-opening of the Clinton case (Comey said this would’ve been catastrophic) or, as he did, be forced by a duty to correct to publicly announce the re-opening of the case weeks before the election. It was a shrewd play by Pro-Trump, Pro-Giuliani FBI agents, but given the publicly available evidence of Trump’s coordination with Russia, it has to amount to a form of treason, maybe even misprision if Giuliani was aware of Trump’s involvement with Russian intelligence operatives and oligarchs.
And now Giuliani is Trump’s lawyer for a case in which it seems Giuliani will become his co-defendant. Again, Mexican soap opera level shit here, folks, but with serious implications for America and the world.
Stoop Kid Left His Stoop!
Let me first start by saying that Kim Jong-un is a vile piece of shit, who has ordered the murders, imprisonment, and torture of an uncountable amount of people. Like Trump, he should never be normalized or legitimized as a leader. Now to be fair to Trump, as of now he’s just a con-artist and rapist who wants to be a dictator. Perhaps he’s gotten some folks murdered using his organized crime connections, but as it stands now, factually speaking, Trump is only like Kim in personality not action.
Now if Donald happened to inherit America from cartoon villain and father Fred Trump, I’m sure Trump would have every journalist sent to jail until they made a “friend” and decided to reveal their sources, who Donald would feed to dogs or blow up with anti-aircraft guns.
Point is, Trump and Kim Jong-un are trash, but you have to respect South Korean President Moon Jae-in, who has done a remarkable job in brokering peace talks to end the decades long stand-off in Korea. Moon campaigned on doing just that, and he managed to get Kim to come to the table and sign a declaration of peace.
While more concrete and specific negotiations need to be hammered out, along with seeing whether Supreme Dipshit Trump either aids or undermines the process at his upcoming summit, this appears to be promising progress.
The primary concern I have is that North Korea has long been a proxy of Russia and China, who both benefit from Trump being the U.S. President. Trump’s involvement in these talks has been minimal compared to the efforts of South Korea and specifically President Moon. I’m concerned the progress in regards to North Korea will be used as another PR stunt to attempt to legitimize Trump as a competent leader. I think that’s why you saw all of this come to fruition once Kim went to visit Emperor Xi in China and got the blessing to make peace with South Korea. It’s a strategic play by Russia and China to give Trump a win on the global stage at a time when all his crimes and scandals are beginning to push towards the inevitable conclusion in which Trump is removed from office and many people go to jail.
That’s why I found Lindsey Graham calling for Trump to get a Nobel Peace Prize to be not only deranged, but signs that those who benefit from Trump remaining in power will do anything to ensure that. So it’s important that we remember it was President Moon who put the work in because if North Korea truly honors the peace agreement, it is Moon who deserves the Nobel Peace Prize. But even I understand that Kim and Trump will want their participation trophies or else they’ll throw a big tantrum and undo everything. That’s our reality now, but I hope it is not our future.
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